The Worst Hotel in Italy

Let me say from the beginning: I'm not one for hyperbole. I don't compose such an inflammatory title lightly; a hotel has to be simply awful in more than one way to merit such an epithet. However, there is one particular establishment that truly earns this dubious distinction: the Villa Athena, in Agrigento, Sicily. Ugh----I shudder to even write its name, as the memories of the New Year's Eve we spent there in 2001 come creeping back, like the mold that covered much of our bathroom. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First off, the Villa Athena is a famous hotel located on a gorgeous site, overlooking the Valley of the Temples. Apparently many celebrities stayed there in its heyday---Sophia Loren and the like---but they certainly wouldn't deign to stay there now. The Villa Athena's sole draw is that from **some** of the rooms you can glimpse the Greek temples when they are lit at night. Yes, this is a lovely prospect, but you don't have to stay at the Villa Athena to experience it. The Valley of the Temples is an amazing sight, and you should definitely see it if you are in Sicily. But if you stay overnight in Agrigento or its environs, please don't make my mistake: stay at the Baglio della Luna or somewhere else instead.

From the moment we stepped into the Villa Athena's "lobby," I knew that nothing good could come of this. The rude receptionist immediately charged my credit card for $300, then practically threw the key at me, while the bellhop stood there, unabashedly scratching himself. And no, I don't mean that he was scratching his head. After carrying our bags to our room, he grunted when we handed him his tip. Then the real fun began, as we inspected our tiny room. The carpet was filthy and peeling, the walls were dirty, the bathroom consisted of a bare overhead light and a shower stall with no shower curtain, the furniture was a scuffed melange of pieces from the 70's, and the refrigerator/minibar didn't work.  Between the moldy smell emanating from the bathroom and from the fridge, it was rather pungent in there. My long-suffering husband ("long-suffering" because I always make him do anything I don't want to do while on vacation, since I do all the legwork) valiantly tried to rouse someone from the enervated staff to come fix the fridge--or at least to bring us a bucket of ice so we could chill our champagne, which we'd envisioned sipping at midnight while gazing at the beautifully lit temples--but to no avail.

Despite these well-documented deficiencies, many guidebooks still list the Villa Athena. Fodor's calls it "pleasant," although not outstanding, and writes that "there's a convivial atmosphere in the bar, where a multinational crowd swaps stories." Judging from our experience, it was more of an angry mob at the front desk, trying in vain to get satisfaction. If any stories were being swapped, they were stories of how crappy their rooms were and how nothing in them worked. At least Frommer's has the decency to admit that the hotel's a pit in desperate need of an overhaul, giving it an "overrated" icon along with a star. And while staying our one miserable night there, we laughed ourselves silly at the blurb on the Villa Athena in our Lonely Planet Sicily guidebook: "Ring ahead if you fancy a night of pampered comfort." Oh man, was that ever a knee-slapper! Even if you'd been staying in youth hostels for a year straight, there is no way in the world that even the most downtrodden backpacker could consider that a night of "pampered comfort". After the giggles subsided, we lay on the none-too-clean sheets, toasting the New Year with warm champagne and the knowledge that Morpheus would soon descend mercifully upon us, after which we could flee the place in the morning.

If you think I'm exaggerating, peruse the reviews of the Villa Athena on TripAdvisor.com. I wish such a resource had existed back in late 2000. It would have saved me the pleasure of shelling out $300 for what one TripAdvisor rater aptly calls "the shabbiest dump we encountered in Sicily." Amen, sister (or brother)! Even our hotel in Scopello, where the bed mattress literally sagged to the floor, was preferable to the Villa Athena. At least the propietress of the Scopello hotel was lovely, charged us only $15, and helped us find a fabulous restaurant for dinner. And her hygiene was impeccable. Things were definitely looking up.

Comments

[KoryO]

I've often wondered what those guys at Frommer's and Fodor's have been smoking....damn, that's horrible!